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Bedtime Shower Thoughts Actually!!!

Most of my critical thinking takes place when I usually am in the shower.  And with a cold day @ -38C like it has been these past weeks, I can spend 30 minutes just standing there thinking.  Last night was no exception.  

Prior I had been in the garage medicating and of course was thinking about the log files of this server and the cool tool I found to see who is looking at what and how often.  Knowing my tolerance is gaining, what was going on in my head wasn't being caused by medication.  I honestly know what too much feels like and this wasnt that.  Prior I was thinking about designing my own application but then my search found httplogviewer.  All day Jan 15, my ears was in a constant ring.  Its been now 9 1/2 years of this wild ride with Celiac trying to establish its link to my existing symptoms still remaining, and of course the loss of my mom makes thinking sometimes more interesting as I try to establish the link.  I honestly don't think mom had what they said being PSC; which I actually think was Celiac which ventured into Celiac hepatitis thus PSC.  Do you believe in the supernatural?  or that our loved ones stay and try to help?  I do.  And there has been a few times I have felt a presence but this night was different.   Last night Jan 15th was very different, as the 16th was rolling around as this thought process really ramped up.

It was  like, she is somehow making me think this way to help me come up with a cool solution.   Well the end result of this thought process was to dump my Celiac journey so that it might maybe help others in my family that could have this genetic disease which is a real shit storm.  Also during this process I was told of things to come which is some what frighting; which I will keep to myself as I don't want to be known as a freak.  Oddly some of this came as I transitioned from the shower to the bed with Big Bang Theory running in the background.  Someone or someone(s) was telling me it will be Ok, that I have a lot of knowledge in this area and that the journey is and will be a difficult ride if symptoms really transpire later in life.  I was comforted in knowing that my journey should soon end and that I will be able to put the disease behind me as i continue to avoid the protein gluten (giladin).  For some people though, the disease itself just doesn't show up and as the genetic fingerprint plus the immune system coded with this defect is allowed to react destroying the body, which for some people they actually don't show anything till its too late.  When ignored, it will transpire to death and its as simple as that.   Being a Celiac can be a death sentence in its early stages or when found too late but if the right treatment is used to heal the body, allowing the years of accumulated giladin proteins that manged to cross the blood/intestinal barrier, polluting the liver in the process which allows it to settle in other areas of the body, will eventually be removed as the immune system continues to seek and destroy.

Now let me elaborate on what i mean by a death sentence.  It only is when found too late meaning you just found out and your liver is like killing you.  Its a death sentence in the beginning because you literally have to reevaluate your life, your surroundings, what you do, how you do it.  You have to research anything you put in or on your body.  It sucks balls.   Lots of favorites are lost and forgotten.  The anxiety and depression alone created if not treated can destroy you mentally and physically.

There are a few forums and blogs out there that have the same information.  This is my journey and is not intended to replace any medical advice.  This is actually a project for therapy as I cant really get into a ring with the disease.  So this is my way to embrace and say FU to the disease.

Bill Elter

I want to share my journey with you and at the same time establish the link that mom was Celiac.   Something just keeps telling me she was and i honestly believe mom was one of those people that ended up not finding out because it was already way to far along to be seen by conventional tests.

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